So confused or is it just tired

Well, we moved in with my brother's family last week. Actually one week ago today. I don't know how I feel about all of this. I am really starting to feel like I made a big mistake. :( I know Matt needed something drastic done, to wake him the hell up. We've been talking this week, about all kinds of different things. He is sitting in a basically empty house. He has a couch, entertainment center,and a coffee table. His brother gave him a tv & a fan. Oh, and 1 plate, 1 fork, and 1 frying pan. I've used so much money for gas, this last week, it isn't even funny. I just can't seem to stay away from the house. I "snuck" over there, while the 3 middle kids were with Anna, just so I could go talk to Matt. He is starting to realize how much I "didn't do" around the house. He knows what he did was stupid, and has said that he will start going to drug & alcohol classes again. I just want to take the kids back home again. I love my family & all that they have done for us, but I'm not happy here. I have to fight for 5 minutes to get on my nephew's computer ( I have mine here, but have to wait until my sil has time to see if she can get the wireless up and running), that I can't sit and rock my colicky baby at night, that even though I did most of the parenting at the house, I still could hand Matt the baby if I was super tired & needed a break- I am dead tired right now. :( I don't know how to fix this mess- I don't want to lose my family, if I decide to go back to him. But I don't want to give him up. I just want my house back. And family, as disfunctional as we were. I wish I had someone who could tell me exactly what I should do.

It's over, or is it

Today, my husband decided to try and take his life. Following in his father's footsteps, although the way he chose was less messy. His choice was to eat a box of rat poison. This grown 32 year old man, decided I drive him too crazy, and feels that I would be "better off" without him. I am am still numb. Long story short, he is fine. On a 3 day hold, though. How did our lives get so far off track? Is it really so much of me to ask that he stop drinking? How do I support him, and ever feel like he won't try this again? I know the answer to this. I don't. :(

911 & The Cops

Well I finally did it. I finally called the police on my husband. No he didn't hurt me or the kids. Well not in the sense that most would think right off. He felt the need to get drunk again and come home like that. And I finally have had it! My mom came and took the kids to her house, so they didn't have to be around him. Not sure if the police were taking him to his brothers house to sleep it off, or if they would have to take him to jail, because of his warrant for missing court due to traffic tickets. I just don't know how to take control of my life again. It scares me, to try to raise my kids on my own. I am basically doing it now, but trying to pay the rent, all the bills, and all the extras, by myself has me scared to leave. :( You would think that his family would mean more to him, than the damn alcohol. But it doesn't. My mom keeps telling me that he will never change. I know he won't. He has been given chance after chance after chance. But someone who cares about his family, shouldn't even have needed anything after the first chance, right?